a recurring dream in which
i am locked in a store, after hours
it is lit by really terrible, cool fluorescent light
and there is nothing i would want to buy anyway

watermarks are in this season.

What are our thots on this, my dear estranged friends?

It has some twee, and some affect.  But if I turned it upside down, would it drift away?  Could it ever go in a suitcase and fly across the country?  Can we learn new techniques from it that involve clicking pieces together?

I do not know.  Perhaps all mocks are made of string and webs and rubber bands these days.  There are parts I didn't know existed.

Dearly yours,

happy birthday, blag

About five years ago we were just about to start our second year of college. That spring semester we had taken a humanities class that spanned from Ancient Greece to the Renaissance. The theme of the class was terrorism and the professor had us look at all the primary texts and interpret them through the lens of the state and terrorism. This class fundamentally changed how we think about the world and set us on a course to becoming more and more left-wing in our political beliefs. Also, Kevoh started this blag and asked us to write on it with him and some other AHOLs.

Unlike leftist party leaders, we (I) never had a plan for what this blag would be like in five years, what we (I), want to use it for, and how y'all will interact with it. Nor did it even occur to us that we might still be updating this blag five years later. The layout is more or less the same, we still write in first person plural, try to keep images about 500 pixels wide, and think that our opinions matter enough to share them with y'all. As we said a while ago, we're not really sure why we care anymore and if y'all care that we care (yes, college made us not only into a socialist, but also a nihilist), or even if we still like playing with our legos.

Most kids go away from home when they go to college, which often results in those who played with legos to to stop doing so, at least until later in life when they are lucky enough to land well paying jobs that enable them to get back into the hobby. We were one of the exceptions who stayed at home with their parents (and are still doing so because bachelors of arts in German and Linguistics are nearly useless except for when you need to correct someone who claims that all languages descend from Latin or for when you need to tell someone that Gesundheit actually just means "health"). This afforded us the luxury of still playing with our legos but, ironically, our interest in playing with legos has decreased dramatically over the past two to three years, despite having a pile of legos four feet from where we sleep every night. It may also be that our collection remains largely unsorted in large bins that make it nearly impossible to find parts and that we actively avoid researching prototypes and finding inspiration.

What do you do to find inspiration? How do you motivate yourself to build? To sort? Post a valued opinion below on what you do to play with legos. Post a valued opinion below so that I know that you care.

aesthetics and shit

This past May we graduated from a public university with two liberal arts degrees, dear readers. Now that we have settled into a part-time job that is completely unrelated to our fields of study and requires few of the skills that we mastered in college, we have a lot of time to think about the important things in life while we try to figure out why the fuck we put ourselves through six years of school and what we'll do now. One thought that pops up frequently is related to Legos, which is why we are blagging about it. One of our other hobbies is riding bicycles. There are many ways to ride a bicycle and equally many ways to behave when doing so. Some bicyclists like to ride on roads, others like to ride on mountain bike trails. Some of the latter prefer to simply ride winding dirt paths through the woods while others prefer technical trails that challenge one's "skills". Some who prefer technical trails argue over the types of tires and number of chain rings that one should use, the frame/component materials and safety gear that one should have, and the ways that trails should be designed. Many riders become emotionally attached to their preferences and it is difficult for people new to the hobby to discover what works for their needs.

In the Lego train circles there are divides among groups about how wide one should build a train out of Lego. With the exception of Emerald Night (there are probably others, we don't care enough to find them) all official Lego train sets were six wide. The entire system (i.e. train specific parts like doors, windscreens and curved track) was designed around a six stud wide platform, which some Lego builders cite as a reason to build six wide. Other builders point to the width of the straight train tracks (that is, the track gauge)as a reason to build wider (e.g. 8 studs wide) trains. Unless your model is a as caricatured as a minifig, any argument that cites the size of minifigs as a source of scale is invalid. Seven wide trains are a common compromise, but are far less popular than six and eight wide trains.

When we joined our Lego train club we started to build trains and were faced with a decision on how wide we should build our trains. Before we joined, other members were already building six wide trains, so the club's layout was scaled and designed for six wide trains. Regretfully being the child of middle-middle-class adult humans, our parents could not afford to buy us enough parts to make our own layout at whatever scale we wished, so we chose to spend our lunch money on Lego parts to build six wide trains that fit our club's existing standards. The fact that a six wide train requires fewer parts and are thus, on average cheaper, encouraged this decision. Being a lonely, asocial teenager, the environment of our Lego train club and the existing "feud" between AHOLs gave us a movement to cling to and connections to make. We memorized all the advantages of six wide trains and convinced ourselves that we were better a better builder for choosing the "right" side. We felt that we mattered and belonged to something, even if that something was a bunch of adults making model trains out of a child's building toy and talking to each other on the internet.

Over time we invested a lot of time and money building a collection of six wide trains. Our decision to build six wide trains was rather arbitrary - neither good nor bad. As we reflect on it, that decision dictated the rest of what we did in our hobby. As evident from the lack of new my own creations in our flickr photostream and the lack of blag poasts, our interests are shifting away from Legos, which gives us a good opportunity to reflect on how Legos will play a role in our future. One thing that we have reflected on a lot lately is what it means for something pertaining to Lego to be "good" to us and why those things matter to us. Why did we develop the preferences that we did? Our AHOL friends certainly help us create our subdivisions within the hobby and perpetuate our values but, overtime, the reasons why we made such decisions become unclear. Why are brown stampunk my own creations so gaudy? How come it's bad to just dump a bunch of blueish parts on the ground and call it "water"? Obviously we think that we are "right", but why? Do our opinions matter? Do you notice us? Are we pretty too? I just want pretty people to tell me that they notice me.

i was ten years old, in 2006

which is better dear readers. old days or new days. i like the news days because i am in them.

The summer semester is for loud, smacking collegiate sex

Which, dear readers, is precisely what we are not having, because as punks and assholes we (I) instead choose to build LEGO in the dorm room. 412B's fuck moans still permeate the walls, further shattering our hope that sex is just an elaborate lie.

31014 (x2) custom

Limitations are truly a great way to flex creative muscles. I don't have the time or space anymore to support a serious LEGO habit, so by necessity relapses must be kept succinct. I built this truck exclusively from the parts of two sets of 31014.

I was drawn to these new wheel molds:

It's a slick looking part. As I'm accustomed to older molds it didn't quite register as a LEGO product. Not really digging the metallic finish. I appreciate variety in the part library, though. The diameter of the assembled wheel and tire is new to me. It is just greater than two studs, so the smallest full-stud difference between the axles is three.

31014 (x2) custom

During the winter recess, I built this building using only parts I was able to cram into the smaller Pick a Brick cup size off the wall at the Rockefeller Center store. There's a dare. Get to a LEGO store, pack a PaB cup as best you can, make something independent of parts from other sources.


Tonight I had dinner with Lukas, fellow hobbyist and former Young Spacer, at a ramen noodle joint in Downtown Brooklyn. New York is a cool place and I'm glad it attracts cool people, like Lukas. We discussed LEGO and what we've gained socially through the fan community during our teenage years.

Social ties in our hobby usually originate online, on forums, in the past decade more via the yahoo company's flickr service. Dedicated LEGO conventions offer an opportunity to physically meet fellow hobbyists and find out just how strange the people behind the screen names are in real life. (Matty.) I've found it kind of remarkable and I could probably discuss it in length. I think I will, another time.

Speaking of conventions, both Lukas and I were absent from this year's Brickworld Chicago event, which took place this weekend. As were a number of our close LEGO friends, like these guys. And Matty. In the past Camp Twee has been one of Brickworld's most eminent attractions, at least to us. I am certain this year's convention was lesser for our absence. Amidst undeserved orange flags, baseplates of arrayed castle mini figures, and the life size Halo brickarms, no-where could be found our brand of cynicism and whimsy. Carry on, carry on.

yeah basically no one c00L was at Brickworld '14. Unless you count these darlings:

peace bros