The Studs and the Studless: A Hot-or-Not Guide

Presentation is everything. But it doesn't stop at the model, dear readers. The turnips, the needleteeth, the Wretched Harmonies; they may be skilled builders, but they'll never make it without an extreme makeover. How you look is just as important as how the model looks. When Ry "Gossip Whore" Wood was auditioning for LEGO Master Model Buildership, the LEGO staff positioned him right in front of the cameras, trusting that his skill and bear cub looks would combine to make a winning newsreel. We all have our own lists of the best builders, but what about the hottest?

There aren't many Ladies of LEGO, so we'll get them out of the way first.

2. Heather LEGOgirl (on the left, former Ambassador Zhang on the right) is best known for going to conventions and taking cam-pics with every guy she can. The men folk, surprised to see a woman in their midst, nervously oblige (ref: Nannan's flop sweat). On flickr, she has tons of testimonials with choice quotes such as "sweeter than sugar, and pretty as a picture," "one helluva woman," and "Heatherlicious!" Bonus, it appears she can build.

1. Lindsay Joy is a self-described "Jane Friday," so here are the facts: She once made a Wall-E. She takes pictures of sets. LEGO once produced a Miniland figure of her; the second and third times Lowell Spheres were used by LEGOLAND.

On to the main event, which is also more difficult to judge. The lady-folk are "cam happy" to put it charitably (4channers can replace "happy" to their liking), but it's hard to find the necessary glamour-shots for the men (Kyle Vrieze would most certainly be on the list, dear readers, if only a suitable photo could be found). Nonetheless, the Top 10 Hottest Guys are...

photo by Joe Meno
10. Fradel Gonzales makes the list primarily for rocking the wife-beater consistently. Most folks only break it out when looking to emulate the Galactica crew, but Fradel is proud to show off his flabby arms, growing belly, and bling any chance he gets.

9. Soren the Seattle LEGO Store Employee has been spotted at the last two Brickcons. With tight jeans and shaggy hair, any lady (or gent) would be glad to be his "coworker." Bonus: discounts!

photo by Joe Meno
8. Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen is seen here surveying his vast kingdom. The years have been kind to the heir of the LEGO dynasty; his hip designer glasses and even tan from the sunny Danish summers combine with his neat button-down to create casual elegance; comfortable corporate.

7. Ley Ward is the oldest wizard in the books. He is a powerful beast, and is known to tell jokes about death that most of us just don't get. His wise authority dignifies everything and everyone he encounters. Alas, dear readers, he's spoken for, but do ask him to perform a "beard trick" when you meet him.

photo by Joe Meno
6. Random Guy at Brickcon might not even be an Adult Hobbyist (A-HOL), but his hipster plaid, hipster specs, ghost hands, and long lustrous bangs make our hearts flutter like hummingbirds trapped in rib cages.


5. Tim Deering, a guy so nice we photo'd him twice. Some may argue that Tim is barely a LEGO builder anymore, but those people should just shut the hell up. For years it was doubted that Tim was a real person. Perhaps he was an AI construct, like the Pinlac. However, one soul has seen him in person, the equally mythical Roy. If they both turn out to be purely digital, readers I assure you, that would would be quite a shame.

4. Linus Bohman may have fallen off the radar lately, but one look at that face is sure to get your radar pointed in the right direction. Coming from beautiful Malmö, Sweden, he's currently spoken for, but ladies pining for more can check out his self-pic flickr set. Fun fact, it's pronounced "Lee - Noose."

3. Firas Abu-Jaber is relatively new on the scene, but he's been ripping up the tarmac with his quickly growing collection of sports cars. Admittedly, the pose here is particularly flattering towards the upper arms, and we hope the hair is a result of chlorinated water, not a tub of hair gel, but doesn't he just rev your engine?

2. Derek Schin is a world-traveling Renaissance man; a poet. All that traveling leaves little time for building, but when he does, it's magnificent. Derek has been known to take shirtless pictures "to document his work out regiment," but they are set to Friends-Only. Out of respect for his privacy, a tantalizing thumbnail view. Who wouldn't want to go for a ride?

1. Gary McIntire, the keeper of our hearts, the true magician who has bewitched us all, is the clear choice for hottest builder. Humble, skilled, handsome, Gary walks gracefully upon rose petals. If LEGO had rock stars, he'd be on the cover of every issue of Rolling Stone. Mere words cannot express his beauty, and so we leave you with more choice pics.


18 comments:

  1. Needs moar Steve Witt

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heather is clearly the red bike of the Lego community.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fun stuff, but you totally left out Mary!

    http://www.flickr.com/search/groups/?q=mary&w=65895686%40N00&m=pool

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, no mention of Felix Greco, the original AFOL heart-throb. This whole list should be tossed out!!

    -Lenny

    ReplyDelete
  5. Felix is AWOL, and in my opinion, rather overrated.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aha, thank you for directing me to Derek's 'stream! I'd been trying to find it for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've never seen twee affect before. I now dub it the best LEGO blog out there. I knew all those self portraits would pay off sometime, hooray!

    (Side note: I've been dreaming of Derek ever since I met him. Mmm.)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dude, Felix was at BrickCon last year. Don't tell me he didn't say hi to you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. He didn't. He's dead to me!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've never met the felix greco (or the soren roberts) either. There seems to be an unspoken rule to skirt each other's periphery in life.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sometimes my post don't show:

    If you dont' talk to Felix while at fest, then YOU FAIL AT FEST!!!

    -Lenny

    ReplyDelete
  12. You should have picked a better picture for Heather. We don't want the readers to think that Nannan is remotely attractive.

    ReplyDelete
  13. No suitable photo could be found? What about the "fat-girl-angle-shot" in my Flickr stream? I'm rocking the wife-beater, Oakleys and backwards baseball cap! That's hot, right? No? Oh...

    -Kyle V.

    ReplyDelete
  14. wtf where is Bram Lambrecht on this list

    --BramFan

    ReplyDelete
  15. As honored as I am to be the one right below Gary, I have to say this whole thing is a sham if Ry isn't on the list and Linus isn't higher up than me.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow. I just heard about this at BrickCon today and I didn't believe it. But heck, there it is. The day I'm in the running for hottest of anything is the day I start to watch for flying piggies outside. One of these days I'll get around to posting the pics of me from junior high. Then you'll see why I spent so much time home, alone building with my LEGO. *shudders at the thought* Thanks for thinking of me. :) ~Heather (Oh, and PS...met Gary this weekend and the drooling still hasn't subsided. Plus he's just as cool as he seems he would be.)

    ReplyDelete